Una has an interesting relationship with sleep.
When she is asleep, then she is pretty much down for the night, flat out and in her usual fetal position.
If she is poorly, she may join us in the early hours but sometimes I like to sleep with her to make sure she ia okay, my over-worrying tendencies surface.
It has always been the getting to sleep that she struggles with. In her early months, she would sleep fine but as she got older, she struggled to self sooth. We tried both the gentle version of crying it out, gradually coming away af bedtime where I think we reached stage 3 and there was no sign of any progression further. Crying it out didn’t work for Una either, 2 1/2 hours later she would still be crying and would often make herself sick. No health visitors had answers.
We quickly decided this was not the way and to be honest, it always played on my mind that surely if a child is crying they are asking for nurture.
I am not saying there is a right or wrong way, we have tried so many other ways and at times they haved worked, Una has fallen asleep on her own in recent years but never consistently.
I kind of just think that we know what is right for our child, maybe we don’t always listen to our gut at first but we know. We still feel pressure to try things because of the stereotypical image of everyone elses children sleeping perfectly. But Una is different to some others.
This girl has fought hard to grow from a tiny 2lb 7oz, to play catch up and lost out on the 3 months in the womb where babies are thought to develop and learn sleep cycles.
This girl wants cuddles, snuggles and company at night time. We don’t know how she feels about her sister dying and how this affects her in many different ways. I find myself thinking that if she had struggled to sleep, Eva would have snuggled up with her to help.
Only yesterday she wasn’t sleepy at bedtime so played in her room and then climbed into bed when she was sleep and fell asleep on her own. Today, she was hysterical and really couldn’t tell me why but she was so sorry. Of course, she had nothing to be sorry for. She is sensative and just needs more and that is okay.
Sometimes worry about an unknown future of whether she will grow into getting herself to sleep clouds our vision and we feel that we aren’t doing her any favours by snuggling with her to help her sleep. But chances are things will just transition with age and we are just giving her exactly what she needs to nurture her growth.
Proud always of our Una and Eva. Even though Eva is not here with us, she still manages to help Una navigate the world 💗💜
Eva’s Mummy 💜🦋